“How far is it to Emerald City, anyways? I feel like I have been walking for hours…and I’m hungry.” Nick commented. It was hot out and he wondered when this weird dream he must be having would be over with.
“Uh…I don’t know. I stood in a cornfield all day, remember? It can’t be too far.” the scarecrow said, waving at the crow perched stubbornly on his head. Nick laughed at him but stopped when he saw some apple trees. His stomach growled loudly at the sight of food. Nick smiled and reached for a large one on the nearest tree but was shocked when the tree decided to hit him.
“What the hell was that for?” Nick shouted in confusion. Tyke began barking.
“How would you feel if I came and grabbed something off of you?” the tree snapped.
“Well, that’s nothing new. It happens all the time back home. I keep forgetting this must be a dream.” Nick said. He would rather have a rabid crazed fan tearing at his clothes than get hit by a talking tree.
“I will show you how to get apples.” the scarecrow whispered sneakily, winking. He made a face at the tree and flipped it off. All of the trees nearby started shouting and pelting them with apples.
“Make fun of us, will they?” the tree screamed.
“You don’t want those apples, they probably have big hairy worms in them.” Brian said.
“Would ya stop insulting the damn trees?” Nick begged, covering his head.
“Ow….fuck…those things hurt!” he said, rubbing at his backside. He went to pick up one of the apples off the ground, but his eyes met up with a metal shoe….followed by a leg…
“Hey! A man made of metal….” Nick gasped. He stood up and looked it over. He was taller than Nick and in a position as if he had been chopping a tree when he rusted.
“mmhmmmhmm.” the tin man mumbled, unable to move his mouth.
“What’s he saying?” the scarecrow asked.
“Hell if I know. I don’t speak robot.” Nick said.
“Well there is an oil can here, think that’s what he wants?” the scarecrow pointed out. Nick took the oil can and squirted it onto the tin man’s mouth, and his arms. The axe fell to the ground…the tin man sighed with content.
“Thank….you….” he said, his face not showing any emotion. Nick wondered why he was speaking so slowly.
“Get…my…legs….” the tin man begged, letting go of the axe.
“How long were you here for? Don’t your arms hurt?” Nick asked, noticing how heavy the axe was.
“I….don’t…know…” the tin man said, still speaking in monotone. Nick was starting to get annoyed already and wanted to tell him to hurry up and get to the point. The tin man started to walk, very stiffly and as if he had a stick up his ass.
“Why are you talking so slow?” the scarecrow wondered, holding back a laugh as they had to oil the tin man again.
“I….never…had….a…” the tin man started, but Nick got frustrated.
“I think he is trying to say he has no heart, that’s why he talks like he’s a robot.” he interrupted.
“Oh.” the scarecrow said as the crow came back again and cawed at him in a teasing sort of way.
“Goddamn crows.” Nick mumbled, rubbing his forehead in frustration. Here he was in the middle of nowhere wearing red sneakers and talking to a scarecrow….not to mention a tin man that had no emotions whatsoever. This day just kept getting better and better.
“Okay, so I guess you should come along too. That axe might come in handy.” Nick said, standing up. Suddenly, a pink cloud of smoke appeared nearby.
“Helping the young man along, are we?” the witch shouted, laughing.
“Who….is…that…” the tin man asked.
“Want to play with fire, scarecrow?” the witch cackled.
“No, that’s fine!” he protested as she made a fireball shoot at him.
“That’s hot!” she grinned.
“Get out of here before a bus falls on you too.” Nick snapped, watching the scarecrow flailing about, the fire nowhere near him.
“I’ll get you my Nicky….and your little dog too! I will have those shoes!” the witch said. She vanished into another cloud of smoke.
“We better get out of here before she comes back.” Nick said, thoroughly disgusted by the ugly witch.
“Can….I….come…with….you? The tin man asked, clanking behind them.
“Okay, I guess.” Nick said, as they headed further into the forest. Nick wondered if he would ever get home and when he did, he would be glad to get out of this dream.