Blue Starlight Fanfiction

Chapter 42

Nick felt a lump in his throat during the entire set. He felt Tracy’s eyes on him the whole time, watching him especially when Amanda was near. He wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and just die there, he never wanted this to happen. Why couldn’t he just be honest? Why did things have to come to this?

He braced himself when he walked into the house, seeing Tracy sitting there on the couch….her eyes burning.

“When were you going to tell me? If you had just told me, I would have understood…..” she snapped as soon as his foot stepped into the room.

“Baby-”

“Don’t you ‘Baby’ me. You told me you would wait until marriage like I was. You lied.”

Nick slowly made his way across the room and they sat across from one another, Nick not meeting her gaze.

“I didn’t lie. I said I would wait because you wanted to. All I said was I respected your wishes.” he replied.

“So what is going on with you and her? Do you love her?” she sneered. Nick didn’t like this at all, he felt like he was being punished. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be with anyone.

“I don’t know what my feelings are at this point, Tracy. I care for her deeply….she’s my best friend, and I happened to be her first. This doesn’t change anything between you and I, I mean I like you a lot….”

“Nick, come on. I know you. You can’t say you love anyone…..all I want to know is if you love me.”

Nick rubbed the back of his head with his hand, he was in deep this time and he wasn’t sure how he would get back out.

“How could you throw me out like that in front of everyone? I’m your goddamn husband!” Lance yelled, as Amanda strode past him towards their bedroom. She began removing her jewelry, still fuming at him.

“You KNEW this night was important to me, and you still behaved like a jealous teenager. I have never been so humiliated in my life! Of course I would throw you out!” she hissed. Lance followed her to the bathroom, still red in the face as she slammed the door.

“You can’t hide in there forever! I am tired of being second to that…..that…”

“Go on…..say it.”

“Celebrity.” Lance said, his voice dripping with hatred.

“I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like us working together. Nick is what will make or break this club right now. He appeals to the demographic.” Amanda replied, opening the door. She was now dressed in a silky pink lace top and pink underwear.

“What demographic, Amanda? You? Stop living in denial. You’ve wanted to be with him since you fucked him in high school. We are adults now……face it, he’s moved on. Nick’s not a teenager anymore and neither are you!” he said.

“Nick and I are friends, nothing more. Stop over analyzing everything.” Amanda yelled. She decided to sleep in the guest room that night, her and Lance were at odds and she didn’t even know how to stop it this time.

Nick and Tracy walked into the bedroom in silence. He knew she was annoyed but she wouldn’t stay this way for long.

“I told you how I felt about you, isn’t that enough?” Nick said as he removed his pants.

“Look, all I want is a little honesty. Do you love me or not? I want to know if I am here wasting my time.”

“Wasting your time? Is that how you feel? Look, if you feel that way then leave.” Nick hissed. Tracy put her arms around him and kissed him, but the kiss left a sour taste in his mouth. They kissed for a while but she stopped when her hand felt a lump under his shirt.

“What is it?”

“What’s that?” Tracy said. Nick’s heart began beating faster….it was the necklace he always wore….her hand had found it underneath his shirt. She reached in and pulled it out, her eyes narrowed.

“Baby, I-” he began, but she stepped back and put her hand up to her face, her eyes filling with tears.

“You….and….and her-” Tracy whimpered.

“I can explain…” he said, but she backed away.

“Nick, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull but….I’m not..falling for it anymore.” she sobbed.

“WAIT!!!” he said when she turned and walked away, her sobs echoing in the hallway. He found her slumped on the floor, sobbing into the wall. Nick tried calming her but she began punching him.

“You’re an asshole!!!!!”

“Baby, calm down. Just listen to me…” he said, her fists landing on his chest and arms. He felt his own eyes water, bringing back memories of his childhood.

“Nick, I have nothing to go back to…I left everything to be with you. What is gonna happen now? I wanted us to be happy…”

“You’re not going anywhere. We can get through this….I’m so sorry.” he whispered gently.

“Marry me, Nick.”

“What?” Nick said, looking into her green eyes.

“I can give you what you want.”

Nick’s heart was going a mile a minute, his brain on overdrive. How could she possibly want marriage? They had talked about it….she had clearly said she couldn’t have children and didn’t want them.

“I thought you couldn’t have kids.” he said, stepping away from her as she got up.

“We can adopt. A boy and a girl like you want. We could be a family.”

“I don’t know about this. We need to sleep on it.” Nick said softly. He walked to the bathroom and shut himself inside, sitting on the carpet. He tucked his knees behind his arms and sat there, thinking with his head down.

What was he going to do?


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