We can do whatever we want to do with teamwork.” – Phineas and Ferb
We went to the frat house at 6, well make that 5:45. Brian insisted on being early, but nobody would let us in until 6. There were about 8 of us, 4 groups of two guys. I recognized one from computer class but there was nobody else I knew.
“It’s not to early to back out of this, you know.” Brian whispered as we stood waiting for the frat brothers to come in the room.
“We have to at least try.” I whispered back. A door opened and they all filed in, it was kind of like a court room and they sat in a row of chairs. AJ came in last, this was the first time I’d seen him since the party.
“I have called you all here for this to see which of you can think quickly under pressure. Howie will be giving each of you an envelope. You are not allowed to open it here or on Pika property….you must wait until you are not around any of those in competition with you. Once you open those envelopes, you will find a list of items. These items are essential for you to move onto the test portion of pledging. You must retrieve all of the items or you will be disqualified.” AJ said.
He paused for a moment while Howie gave us the envelopes. I tucked it inside my shorts pocket.
“You have 3 hours to get said items and meet back here. Good luck ladies.” he added. Me and Brian walked to our pizza place before opening the envelope and saw ten items on the list.
“Well? What kind of stuff do we have to get?” Brian whispered.
I laughed at the list.
“Well, first on the agenda is a pair of ladies underwear. Where are we gonna find those?” I smiled. We left the parlor and walked quickly, Brian had a plan already.
“I sure as hell am not sneaking in a sorority for a panty raid. So we will check the laundry.” he said.
God damn it why didn’t I think of that?
I felt like Mission Impossible as we headed towards the laundromat. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun……dadada…
We snuck around the corner where the laundromat was and heard a girl singing in there. Something about having the right stuff. Either way, it was a pretty crappy song. She got a phone call and walked away from her basket.
“I’m going in.” I said, walking up to the laundry basket and looking through it. I held up a T-shirt that said NKOTB on it and made a face.
“Brian….what is a New Kid On The Block?” I asked, scowling at it. Whoever these guys were, I didn’t care for it one bit.
“Oh. The New Kids On The Block. Some cheesy boyband from the 80s. My mom likes them. Made me listen a few times.” Brian said.
“I would not be caught dead in some stupid boyband.” I said. I then thought about it, but I could never be a musician. I’d tried to be in a garage band during my high school days, but I grew bored of it quickly. Kevin always said we made too much of a racket and took away my drums.
I never touched an instrument again.
“Ditto. Although I did sing some of their songs to get dates in high school.” Brian admitted, blushing as I rolled my eyes. I put the shirt back and picked up the largest pair of underwear I have ever seen. I mean, geez. They were twice the size of my own ass.
“Holy crap. Is that a tent?” Brian whispered as I cracked up. We both exchanged looks and I shook my head.
“No way, bro. Next basket.”
I moved to another basket I saw on the counter, reached in and pulled out a pink, lacy thong. I pocketed it as the NKOTB fan walked back in, still singing about the right stuff. She gave me a funny look and I smiled at her, she blushed.
“Come on, Romeo.” Brian teased, pulling my arm.
I followed him until we could safely pull out the list again.
“Okay, well we got the underwear. Now what?” I asked, twirling the panties around my index finger.
“Put that away! I’m checking.” Brian said. Next thing on the list was a Budweiser. Now neither of us were 21. How was this going to work?
“Dude. We could just get an empty can or bottle. It doesn’t say it has to be a full one.” I said suddenly. Man I impress myself sometimes. Brian nodded and we went looking around campus a bit, but we found an empty beer can. Time was ticking, we had an hour or so to go.
“Next is black nail polish.”
“What the hell does AJ want this for? Is he going to a goth convention?” Brian asked. I shrugged. As the list went on the items got weirder. We had to get nail polish, condoms, lotion and toilet paper….and various other things.
Once we retrieved them, we headed back to the frat house. AJ was shaking his head at us, we were the last ones there.
“You two went over the time limit.” he said, tapping his hand on the counter in front of him. I then noticed his nails were painted black. No wonder he needed the nail polish. Part of me wondered if he was secretly bisexual. I mean….look at him, he’s wearing eyeliner.
AJ looked really disappointed in us and I looked down at my feet, thinking we were gonna get kicked out.
“I’m sorry. We lost track of time.” I apologized. I was surprised when a grin appeared on his face. He motioned for Howie to come over and whispered something in his ear.
“AJ says he’s willing to forgive you if you do one more thing.” Howie replied, smirking.
“What is it?” Brian asked. He and Howie kept exchanging looks as if they were angry with one another, I’d never noticed it before.
“You will find out soon enough, for now you’re dismissed. AJ expects you both at class tomorrow morning.” Howie replied. We both left feeling quite confused and wondering what AJ could be planning. It was just before Halloween and we were getting hit with more and more homework. Brian and I found ourselves studying a lot, spending hours in the dorm hitting the books.
Kevin called me once in a while but I was always busy. College was starting to settle in and I was finally feeling at home there. We would wake up early to go to the frat classes and then our regular classes.
I really wondered if Brian knew what he was talking about with the Pikas, because it seemed like he knew Howie. Part of me wondered if he was his old roommate, but I guess that is a question for another day.
Why must things be so damn complicated?